And yet, by waiting just two years, they were in a better position to heed God’s call, to serve and to lead others, and to ensure their own self-reliance in a time when the church had many destitute members to take care of in a land with limited resources. It’s a personal testimony to me of how God works with us individually- when some are called to “take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink,” others are commanded to “prepared every needful thing” (3 Nephi 13:25, Doctrine and Covenants 88:119). Waiting can be a refiner’s fire, patience a builder or character. For “if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear” (Doctrine and Covenants 38:30)

Though she was well outfitted for the journey and joined together was a widowed father to make the journey easier for both families, Caroline had very little when she arrived in the Salt Lake Valley. She sold the outfit that had brought her across the plains, bought a small log cabin, and then had to find a way to feed and cloth her family. Though she was a beautiful seamstress, money and work were scarce, and she did her best with payments of farm produce and discarded clothing.
Even still, when one of her Steed relations returned from the handcart rescue company with with his niece, Sarah Steed, Caroline took her in, bathing her and dressing her in her own clothes.
She would eventually sell her little log cabin to the church, the land of which lies under the Northwest Section of the Tabernacle in Temple Square.
Caroline never remarried. She was self-reliant, hard working, and still had room to be generous. She would remain close to her children and posterity all of her life, with these words written on her grave upon her death: “Caroline Steed was a noble woman.”

Joseph was a tinner by trade. He had brought sufficient tools and a box of heavy tin in order to start a business in Salt Lake City. However, the company quickly discovered that the green wood of the newly built handcarts could not hold up to the rigors of the trail. After just two days time, Joseph set to work reinforcing the handcarts with his tin, ultimately using all of it to secure every handcart in the company over the course of their journey.
It took 109 days for them to walk the 1400 miles to the Salt Lake Valley. For six of those weeks, pregnant Rebecca carried her youngest child on a pillow in her apron because the little girl had become too ill to walk on her own. She nearly gave up, but the thought of protecting her helpless daughter and unborn child gave her the strength to keep going on her worst day.
Without having walked with them, knowing their remarkable story has made it part of my own. I feel a personal connection to the time of “the Restoration” and the history of my people and our faith. And I’ve considered what that should mean to me today.
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles reminds us to take part int he ongoing restoration. In the September 2020 Ensign, he said, “Sometimes we think of the Restoration of the gospel as something that is complete, already behind us—Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon, he received priesthood keys, the Church was organized. In reality, the Restoration is an ongoing process; we are living in it right now. It includes ‘all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal,’ and the ‘many great and important things’ that ‘He will yet reveal’ (Articles of Faith 1:9)… When our time in mortality is complete, what experiences will we be able to share about our own contribution to this significant period of our lives and to the furthering of the Lord’s work?f Will we be able to say that we rolled up our sleeves and labored with all our heart, might, mind and strength? Or will we have to admit that our role was mostly that of an observer?” Or a descendant?
And so I will try to take this to heart—How am I furthering the work of the Restoration today? How do I Hear Him to know what he would have me contribute? Do I have something to offer? Can I carry another? Am I listening and ready to act?

Family Tree: Me > Mom > Grandpa Brimhall > Logan Brimhall > Norman Andrew Brimhall > Noah Brimhall

Me > Dad > Grandpa Cooley > Lillian (Lydia) Vaughn Strebel Cooley > Ethel Una Roberts Strebel > Adelberg Carlos Roberts (3) > Daniel Roberts (52, widowed) | Harry Walton/Garden Grove Company, May 17, 1851 (130 days)
​Me > Dad > Grandpa Cooley > Lillian (Lydia) Vaughn Strebel Cooley > Ethel Una Roberts Strebel > Martha Eliza York (infant) > Hannah Carter (40) and Aaron Merton York Sr. (42) | William Snow/Joseph Young Company, June 21, 1850 (102 days)
Me > Mom > Grandma Brimhall > Anna Laura Farnsworth > Eliza Ann Hess > Elizabeth White > Ann Eliza Adelaide Everett (4) | Jedediah M Grant - Willard Snow Company, June 19, 1947 (107 days)
​Me > Mom > Grandma Brimhall > Anna Laura Farnsworth > Eliza Ann Hess > Elizabeth White > John Stout White | Mormon Battalion
Me > Mom > Grandma Brimhall > Anna Laura Farnsworth > Wilford Burt Farnsworth > Mary Isabelle Tidwell > Susan Briggs Allen (17) and Peter Tidwell (21) | Isaac M Stewart Company, June 19, 1852 (70 days)
​

For the last year or so, I have felt drawn to the women of the scriptures. Their stories are often brief but impactful, and as I have begun to see them for the real people they are, I have also begun to see myself reflected in their narratives. I feel a strong kinship and sisterhood with them, and I long to know more about them—their thoughts, their views, their stories.
More than any other woman in scripture, Mary is revered and remembered. And yet we still know so little about her. Thousands of years later, we can only truly know so much about her and her experience, but I am finding beauty in learning more about the time in which she lived and the people she called her own. I am coming to know her as I take quiet moments to put myself in her place. It’s speculation, on one hand, but I still feel I am learning from her as I learn of her. And as I more fully see God’s hand in her life, I feel new eternal truths that now resonate in my own.

Have you ever considered the significance of the Angel Gabriel telling her that Elisabeth too was experiencing a miraculous pregnancy? That our Heavenly Parents made sure this young woman was not alone in her experience, and provided a kindred sisterhood when she most needed it? With Elisabeth, Mary was not alone. She was understood. I love to think of the tenderness between these two women, and what their shared experience must have meant to them both. Heavenly Parents know the timeline. People are put into our lives and into our families. Our timelines, God’s timelines, linked timelines.

I also love to think of her spending those first three months with Elisabeth, another woman of God so filled with the Spirit that she recognized Mary as “blessed among women” and the fruit or her womb as blessed as soon as Mary arrived (Luke 1:40-42). Elisabeth, wife of the priest Zachariah, both of whom were described as “righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless”— this is who welcomes Mary with open arms. What a safe haven for Mary during those tender months! I imagine it was a time of study, prayer, and learning as both women prepared to fulfill their ordained roles as mothers.

-BYU New Testament commentary by S. Kent Brown
“La Visitation: Mary Visits Saint Elisabeth” by Odilon Redon

As I understand it, it is most likely that during this time period a woman like Mary would not have been literate. As a religious person, however, she would have been knowledgeable in the scriptures and very familiar with the Old Testament (1). Consider all she knew from her own words in the her Magnificat, The Song of Mary (Luke 1:46-55). Even before she ever held the Savior in her arms, she knew Him, as we can know Him, through the scriptures.

And in those nine months leading up to the birth of her son, I wonder what scriptures brought her comfort or insight or new meaning. I think of the prophecies of Christ in the Old Testament, and wonder what parallels she now saw.

​”Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.” -Isaiah 7:14
”For Unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6
”But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though though be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting.” Micah 5:2

And most of all, I’ve thought about her experience giving birth. I read in multiple places that it was most likely that Mary was not alone with Joseph when she gave birth. First of all, since they were in Bethlehem, it was likely that they were with Joseph’s family or relations (2). Historically, these woman would have supported any woman going through labor, but especially a first time mother. And besides there support, it also make sense that a midwife would have been present as well. The Apocrypha mentions two midwives present at the manger (Gospel of James 14-15), which, again, just makes sense (3).

​I’ve also thought more about where Mary gave birth. I think we’ve seen this through a modern lens, projecting our own discomfort with the idea of delivering in such close proximity to the animals. But Mary and her people lived in close proximity with animals throughout their lives (4), and women especially would have grown up tending to the animals at home. I am sure it was still less than ideal. I am sure she would have been more comfortable elsewhere. But it certainly speaks to her humility and strength- the two characteristics labor requires of all women.

One thing that struck me as I thought of her experience was the very real pain of labor. Here God had set her apart to be the Mother of Jesus Christ. She was submitting herself to Him completely. She was a righteous woman of great faith. And yet? As far as we know, she still would have gone through the physical discomfort of pregnancy and the pain of labor and delivery. Is it possible that God could have taken this away? Of course. But in my heart of hearts, do I think He did? No. At its core, labor simultaneously puts a woman in a position of abject humility while also empowering her with strength she didn’t know she innately possesses. God could take away that pain, but if He didn’t, Mary would come out of it on the other side having come to know her own strength, having felt her own divinity in this act of creation, and having felt of the divine as she was sustained.

“Mother and Child” by J Kirk Richards

Luke 1-2
The Christ Child: A Nativity Story
(1) The Christ Child: Behind the Scenes
(2) “Jesus Was Probably Born in a Relative’s House, Not an Inn” by Dr. Michael LeFebvre
(3) “Was There a Midwife at the Manger?” by Patricia Harman
(4) “House of Ancient Israel,” Harvard Museum of the Ancient Near East
​

2022 has proven to be the epitome of a Christmas card year. A new baby, a graduation, the start of a new job—so much to report and be grateful for. But more than just bullet points in summary of how we spent the last twelve months, this year has also turned out to be that elusive someday we’ve been working towards from the beginning. After years of schooling and training, studying and tests, somehow we made it, and Matt is now an employed board certified general surgeon.
It wasn’t that we thought this day would never come; it’s just that the end always felt so far down the road. I’ll never say that the time went by fast, but I wouldn’t trade the four years of medical school and seven years of residency because of where they’ve brought us today.
We’ve been becoming acquainted with this sense of arrival for several months now, and I can’t help but reflect on how much we were both sustained through all of those years leading up to now. There was clearly some strength, patience, and help beyond what we had to give. I’m filled with immense gratitude for the people we met on this journey, friends and family who have been through it all with us. And so it was fortuitous that 2022 also ended up being a year of gatherings that allowed us to be with the people we’ve collected along the way and the people who’ve been with us since the beginning.
Who knows what will be on the Christmas card next year. But I’m particularly grateful for all the cards we’ve sent before, as well as the years they represented and the people we’ve kept on our list. So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Robertsons to our people

With love,
Matt, Casey, Annie (5), Emma (3), and Benjamin (8 months)

1. Great Wolf Lodge, Sky Zone Trampoline Park, and Edinborough Park for Spring Break
2. Benjamin’s birth and baby blessing
3. Matt’s Graduation from General Surgical Residency at the University of Minnesota

Roadtrip 2022
4. Visiting the family Ranch in Arizona
​5. DisneyLand and California Adventure
6. Visiting family and friends in Nebraska, New Mexico, California, and Utah

​7. Visiting the Minnesota State Fair and entering rolls, banana bread, and sugars cookies into the fair baked goods competition
8. Dad starting a new job as a General Surgeon at Saint John’s Hospital
9. Annie starts PreK
10. A White Christmas at home as a family of five
​

For so long, Matt and I went year after year, just the two of us. Christmases came and went, and not much changed during the in-between. Looking back, there was a definite feeling of time standing still, with little to mark its passage. We’ve always had a happy life with lots to be grateful for, but after all those years on our own, we can’t help but feel how much meaning our kids have added to the very concept of time—most especially at Christmas.

First Christmases, letters to Santa, each Christmas morning, and each new tree—we’re building on past memories and making new ones. And time is reflected in their remembering as much as it is in their growth in between. Annie and Emma are both adding to past memories of Christmas now. Their excitement for the season is their own, and yet its something that we all share too.

And now part of me does wish that time could stand still—or at least slow down. I wish our Christmas tree would last and last in the present like it will in our pictures and memories. I wish the days would go by more slowly this month, especially Christmas Day, but of course I know better. So I’ll have to slow time by taking time—taking time to read Christmas books, take pictures, and make memories. Because I already know Christmas will be over before I know it, and next year will come quicker than I expect.

Isn’t it amazing how the heart expands with each new addition to the family? I never knew I could love like I love my son. It’s somehow different from how I love my girls. Somehow different from how I love my husband. And as our family grows, there’s more love to go around- love in abundance- and my heart is so full!

Annie is my planner. My reader. My worrier. She’s my mini-me. She has the greatest laugh, and she’ll forever be my first baby. I’m trying not to think too much about how much time she’ll be away from us when she starts Pre-K in the fall. She’s ready, but it certainly catches us of guard how soon we have to start letting our little ones go.
Emma is a ham. She gives the best hugs and has the bluest eyes. When she looks at you, you can’t help but feel like she really sees you. And we’ve noted that ever since she was a little baby. She’s really got a way with words, even at two, and we’ll be heartbroken when she loses that toddler chime to her voice.
Bringing a new baby home to these two girls felt the most like bringing him home to his family, and I love how we feel more and more complete with each little person who joins our team. I’ll always treasure the time I had with just my girls, and I’m grateful for the tone they’ve set for our family.

Benjamin has a smile that’s simply contagious. He has the most expressive eyebrows and the busiest little body. He’s a hand holder and stinky monkey. Our best little buddy and our own baby brother. He’s getting big so fast, and whether or not he’s a Mama’s boy, I’m certainly smitten.

For this window of time, we’re a family of five, and how we love this little family of ours. We’re a family who reads books and a family who plants seeds. We go on adventures and find our home to be a haven. We’re a family of faith, learning and growing. Chore charts, potty training, good days and bad days. They are mine and I am theirs. And so I have to say again, my heart is full!

We’ve been home with Baby Brother for a couple of days now, and of course we can’t imagine life without him. Looking through these pictures, there is a sweetness in knowing that I recognize him now. That little face becomes more and more familiar every day, as if we’ve always known him. Just the way time passes these first few weeks, the present feels so much more like a memory.

Benjamin was born after the most beautiful day of laboring. Friends took care of the girls and the dog, allowing me to labor at home- resting as needed, eating what I wanted, and treasuring the time to myself to experience the day. Matt came home as the contractions progressed, and we strolled through our neighborhood before heading to the hospital.
Since this was my third time delivering at our hospital, we were lucky to be welcomed back by staff who had worked with us before. We felt so well taken care of! And best of all, my nurse midwife was able to arrange things so she could be there with me even though she wasn’t originally scheduled to be. With Matt and the caring staff around me, Benjamin arrived after 30 minutes or so of intense pushing. He was nearly born with his amniotic sac intact, which felt like some kind of good omen :)

For me, experiencing the contractions, one at a time, during the first stage of labor felt calm and natural- even empowering. Every contraction had an added element of excitement, knowing they were each bringing me one step closer to delivery. And the moment he was born? There is nothing like that immediate sense of relief and accomplishment. Add to that those first few moments of meeting our little baby boy, and it’s clear why it was a moment I’ll treasure all my life.

I’ve always loved the name Benjamin, but it wasn’t until we saw him that we knew it was the name that suited him best. And his middle name? Sometimes he just looks so much like his dad that it was a no- brainer :) I hope he’ll see himself in the stories of the scriptural Benjamins and aspire to make something of the name himself.

Because of current visitor rules at the hospital, the girls didn't officially meet Benjamin until we brought him home. Though they'd both been anxiously awaiting his birth (playing "going to the hospital" and counting down on their calendar), it was cute to see how their different personalities approached their new baby brother. Emma wanted to hold him immediately while Annie kept her distance at first. They're both smitten, even as we all figure out how we each fit into our new family of five.
There is something about bringing home a baby to his siblings- it felt the most like bringing him home to our family. It will be a while before we're back to our (new) normal, but the last two weeks together, all five of us closed off to the world, have added to that feeling that makes a house a home and strengthened those bonds that make a family.